Something You Can't Have
by shootingstartsxox
Summary: Kurt's a Sophomore at NYU when his best friend introduces him to his new boyfriend, but what happens when he turns out to be a familiar face of someone Kurt thought he would never see again?
1. Chapter 1

It's important to start this by saying that George is Kurt's best friend. An unlikely friendship, without a doubt, but an important one to Kurt non the less. Which is why this recent turn of events has been extremely difficult for Kurt.

They met in English 101. Kurt had thought it was a stupid requirement for a performance major, NYADA would have never required it, but NYADA didn't accept Kurt, NYU did. Four weeks into class he was assigned a partner, George, to select 6 articles of current events, and develop debate arguments for each one with. Kurt had been apprehensive about working with George. He was without a doubt a man's man. He wore flannel, was broad shouldered, and carried a gym bag with him to class, which made Kurt believe he was a jock of some sort. Due to past experiences with jocks, Kurt was less than thrilled to have to work with one.

This assignment also came with pretty crappy timing. Kurt had just broken up with his high school boyfriend who was back home in Ohio. It had been ugly, Kurt was told by multiple New Directions members that Blaine was spending a lot of time with Sebastian, a boy who had made it no secret that je was attracted to Kurt's shorter boyfriend. They started fighting a lot, too much as far as Kurt was concerned. When Blaine used a low blow against Kurt in their last argument ever, Kurt in a moment of weakness broke it off, leaving him in a sour mood permanently.

As reluctant as Kurt had been going to their first meeting, on the third floor of the library, he was relieved by the outcome. Thirty minutes in and they were discussing a gay rights article, which Kurt had been afraid to discuss in the first place, but surprised to find out that George himself was gay too. They quickly forgot their assignment and talked about their high school experiences. George had been exposed to a lot more of the culture than Kurt had, and George had taken it upon himself to show Kurt all New York City had to offer for them, a very welcome distraction.

He brought Kurt to his first gay club (the gay bar Blaine and him once went to didn't count compared to this), he was cheering Kurt on when Kurt had his first make-out with a stranger, and helped Kurt figure out how to break up with the said random four weeks later.

Sure Kurt had Rachel, he lived with Rachel, but she was constantly throwing NYADA in his face without meaning to, and there was just some things about Kurt Rachel could never understand that George did effortlessly.

They were Sophomores now, Kurt still living with Rachel, George an RA in a freshman dorm, and they were still studying together on the third floor on the library, different classes this time.

"I hate midterms" Kurt exclaimed throwing his highlighter down on his History of Theatre notes. George looked up smiling from his Psych book as his phone started singing, "Life is a Highway", to which Kurt snorted loudly.

"It's a classic" George said while his face lit up reading the name of who ever was calling.

"Hey", he said into his phone, his voice a couple octaves higher than usual, causing Kurt to laugh again. George always had some boy wrapped around his finger until he got bored with him, and this must have been the newest fling, a freshman if Kurt remembered correctly.

"You're here?" George said, obviously excited.

"Yeah, we're on the third floor, you are a God send" beat, "Yeah he loves coffee" George winked at Kurt.

"Ok see you in a couple". George put his phone down and tried to go back to his textbook, but Kurt wasn't having it.

"Where did you find this one again?" Kurt asked.

"He's one of my residents. Don't give me that look Kurt, he's actually quite adorable. His clothes got locked in the dryer ten minutes before his class was supposed to start and he came to me all flushed and frantic. And you should have seen him when I asked him out, he was so flustered. The icing on the cake was that he wore a bow tie the first time I took him out to dinner", George smiled

"It sounds like you are going to rip this poor suckers heart out, what's his name again?" but Kurt doesn't even listen because at that moment Blaine Anderson stepped off the elevator, holding a tray of coffees. His hair was still gelled, and he was wearing one of his signature cardigans, and he still looked as dreamy as ever. Kurt didn't even know Blaine had ended up in the city, he made his friends promise not to talk about him after the break-up and he deleted him from Facebook to avoid obsessive stalking.

Blaine was obviously looking around the room for his friends when he made eye contact with Kurt, almost dropping the tray in his hands. He narrows his eyes, probably assessing what his next move should be when George turns around in his chair noticing Kurt staring at something behind him.

"Blaine over here" George said, and Kurt dropped both his hands down onto the table, loudly. Blaine looked stunned for a minute before plastering one of his signature charming smiles on his face, walking up to them.

"I come bearing coffee" Blaine said placing the tray in front of George.

"Seriously you are a life saver. Kurt this is Blaine, Blaine this is Kurt" George says without looking up from the steaming cup he is gulping down. Blaine is staring intently at Kurt, who is staring right back, both unsure of what their next move should be. Finally Blaine opens his mouth, and what he says surprises Kurt.

"I should of realized there could only be one gay and fabulous Kurt in this city". Kurt frowned; he was hoping they could just pretend they didn't know each other. George looks up at them, obviously confused.

"You-two-know each other or something?" he asks.

"You could say that" Blaine says, his voice harsh.

"Do you guys have a class or something together"?

"Not since couple of years ago" Kurt says quietly, and George raises his eyebrows in understanding.

"You both are from Ohio. And, you transferred to public school Junior year for a boyfriend, and you had a boyfriend that-" George stopped speaking looking between the two.

"Get the fuck out", George is obviously amused.

"Small world" Kurt says dryly.

"This is awkward isn't it?" George says.

"No", Kurt is quick to say, and Blaine now is the one that is confused.

"I mean I guess a little. But, Blaine and me haven't spoken in a year" he looks directly at Blaine, "I didn't even know he was in the city. So, we've obviously moved on, it's weird but, it's great, I'm happy for you two" he gives George a fake smile, who smiles obliviously.

"Yeah, well it's still kinda weird".

"I have to go" Blaine says quietly, looking down at George. "But I'll see you later?".

"Yeah, I'll pick you up in like two hours", Blaine squeezes George's shoulder before walking back towards the elevator, avoiding looking at Kurt completely.

"Where are you two going later?" Kurt asks, watching Blaine get in the elevator.

"I got student rush tickets for West Side Story, he played Tony in High School", George frowns, "You probably already knew that".

"I was Officer Krupkie" Kurt says with a smile.

"Kurt, if this is too weird or strange for you I can just-"

"Don't even say it George, I don't want you breaking it off on my account" Kurt says with a gentle smile, but then George laughs and Kurt fake smile fades.

"Look dude, you're my best friend, but I'm not breaking this off. You know I hate Broadway that shows you how interested I am in him. I was even going to ask him to be like official tonight afterwards".

"You never do that" Kurt says quietly.

"Exactly. I think I really like him, he's adorable, funny and he has really nice arms-Ok yeah this is awkward" George says noticing Kurt starting to scowl.

"I was going to offer that I won't flaunt it in front of you, because I understand you don't want to hear about him being with me. But, you were the one to break up with him, and you never really had anything nice to say about him when ever you spoke about him last year, so, I don't think it would be fair for me to stop seeing him".

"I don't want you to do that", Kurt said quietly and George smiles.

"I know you don't, you're too great. But I should go I have to shower and Google what to wear to a Broadway play" George said piling his books together.

"Not flannel" Kurt says and George laughs.

"Yeah ok, thanks" and he's gone too, leaving Kurt alone surrounded by notes he knows there is no way he'll be able to study now, because his best friend is dating Blaine Anderson, and Kurt's pretty sure he's still in love with him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Kurt is that you? Of course it is, and you have impeccable timing because I was just about to start a recipe from that cook book my dads sent me" silence, "Well the cook book my dads sent me to give to you. But I don't recognize some of these words. What exactly does it mean when it says to braise the carrots?" Kurt hears Rachel as soon as he opens the door to their tiny apartment and he bangs his head against the wall slightly, he was not in the mood to deal with this now. He forces himself to walk into the kitchen, he affectionately referred to as their closet and watched Rachel attempt to chop up vegetables in a ridiculous lacy apron, and really, he thought her fashion sense would have improved by now.

"Give that to me before you ruin the only fresh peppers we have left, and go boil the pasta or something, I swear you're more like Finn then I realized sometimes" he says pushing Rachel aside grabbing the knife out of her hand as he gets to chopping. Rachel is satisfied, moving along to grab some noodles out of cupboard.

"I met George's new boyfriend today", Kurt says casually chopping a pepper up a little more aggressively than needed.

"That's nice" Rachel says absentmindedly, George having a new boyfriend was nothing new.

"He seems nice, he's actually from Ohio" Kurt says, the chopping becoming even more aggressive.

"Small world" Rachel says pouring the box of noodles into a pot.

"Yeah. And it's so weird. He was in glee club in High School, and he actually lead his group, I think he said they were called New Directions or something like that-", by this point Rachel has dropped the pot loudly on the counter, watching Kurt with wide eyes as he continues. "He lead them to a first place win at Nationals last year, making it the second time in a row his group won said competition. And you want to know the kicker, his name is Blaine-" he turns to face Rachel directly. "And he is my ex-boyfriend. Rachel, when were you going to tell me he went to NYU"?

"I-I-I was hoping I would never have to" she admits.

"Seriously Rachel I cannot believe that you-"

"I thought your campus was big enough, and you were the one who said you never wanted anyone to talk about him so I was simply obeying your-"

"When did you find out?" Kurt asks cutting her off.

"Over the summer, we got coffee a couple of times, and when you and Finn went away to your grandmother's for two weeks he came to a couple of New Directions soirees I had. You can't expect that just because you two broke up that everyone was going to stop being his friend." Rachel says slightly annoyed.

"No, but a little warning that my ex went to my school would have been nice. Have you seen him since being back in the city?" Kurt asks. Rachel is silent.

"I guess that's my answer then".

"Only once, it was two weeks into the semester and Blaine was really homesick and lonely and you were out late with George so I invited him over for some Vegan Pizza and-"

"He was in my apartment-"

"Our" Rachel corrects.

"I cannot believe this. Did he ask about me"?

"Of course he asked about you, you two were very much in love in case you forgot. In fact I was secretly hoping that you two would beat Tina and Mike out, I mean they did break up so I guess no one won but-"

"RACHEL". She stops rambling and frowns.

"He asked what I thought about him calling you. He was really lonely, and he missed you, especially being in New York it brought back a lot of feelings he had", she says quietly.

"And what did you say"?

"I-well. Kurt, I told him I didn't think it was a good idea". Kurt frowns placing the knife he was holding in a very dramatic position without even realizing it.

"And why did you say that"?

"Because, you really hurt him last year, and he hurt you too I know. And it's obvious that you two are not over the other, and I didn't want either of you to get heart broken again, so I said no".

"I'm so glad you took it upon yourself to meddle in my life" he said turning his attention back to his vegetables.

"I admit you finding out the way you did wasn't ideal, but you know George is going to tire of him in like three weeks anyway".

"He says it's different this time" Kurt says sarcastically.

"He always says that" Rachel reminds.

"I'm glad you are so relaxed over this. I would love to see how you'd react if Jillian brought Finn or Jesse St. Stupid over for dinner".

"Kurt, both those boys are back in Ohio where they belong, so that's not going to happen. I however see your point, it sucks and it's weird. But Kurt this is George, who yes is your best friend, however I do not see the appeal. And you know him, he's going to toss Blaine aside like a used tissue".

"He's taking him to see West Side Story as we speak" Kurt says dryly, pouring his now diced vegetables into a pot.

"That's adorable does he know he played Tony-" she stops speaking and frowns for a minute. "I thought he hated Broadway".

"He does. That's the point. He also is planning on asking Blaine to be official or whatever after, and before you ask, yes he never does that" Kurt sighs.

"I just-it's so weird Rachel. I'm not mad at either of them because how could they have known but, I'm just mad, can't I just be mad"? Rachel steps next to him and wraps an arm around his shoulder.

"Of course, and I really am sorry Kurt, I thought I was helping. You know Kurt, I have a scene partner named Nathan, and he is really dreamy. I've been itching to set you two up but I wanted to make sure you were ready. I could invite him over for dinner, I really think you'd like him".

"Rachel, I don't need a pity set up".

"It's not a pity set up, I've even mentioned you before and he seems really interested. He doesn't have a lot of friends, and not for any bad reason you're about to think of, he just tries to avoid the pettiness and competition". Kurt sighs.

"Ok, maybe dinner wouldn't hurt". Rachel smiles and ruffles his hair a little bit.

Later they are curled up on the couch watching "The Sound of Music" when Kurt's phone vibrates. It's not a number he has saved in his phone but he recognizes it anyway, and he feels a lump form in his stomach when he sees it.

**419-978-4471:** I think we need to talk. Starbucks by campus, 9am?

Kurt sighs, Thursdays are his sleep in day, but Blaine was right they definitely needed to talk.

**Kurt H:** I think I can manage that.

….

Kurt hated Starbucks, always had, always will. He hated the simple, cold design and layout of the place, and he especially hated the pretentious names like tall, grande, venti they had for their sizes, using special names didn't make them original it made them assholes. Kurt was surprised Blaine had suggested they meet here, Blaine used to make fun of Starbucks too, but things were different now, Kurt probably didn't even know Blaine anymore.

Kurt ordered his medium Non-Fat Mocha latte, putting an emphasis on the word medium that seemed to go right over his Barista's head. Blaine wasn't there yet so he sat at an empty table in the corner drumming his hands on the dirty plastic table. Although the place was full of people grabbing their caffeine fix before running off to class, Kurt didn't miss Blaine walk through the door.

While Blaine got on the end of the line, Kurt allowed himself to really study him. He still had the same gelled hair, same charming grin, boyish charm, and still wore Grandpa cardigans, but there was something different in him as well. He had grown slightly, not drastically enough to not make him appear short, but enough for Kurt to notice, but that wasn't it. He moved differently, the way he held his hand out with his money, the way he walked to the counter to grab his order, his movement seemed more grounded. Kurt had always thought Blaine glided with excitement, but he seemed so much more reserved now, and the sparkle in his eyes were gone.

"Hey" Blaine said sitting down at the chair opposite of Kurt, he smiled slightly before taking a sip of his coffee, closing his eyes as the blend hit his tongue.

"Sorry, coffee always tastes better after an all nighter" Blaine said placing his cup down.

"We didn't have to meet so early" Kurt said moving his finger along the edge of his cup.

"I have class in an hour, and this is really the only time I'm free" Blaine said with a shrug. Kurt simply nodded, not sure what exactly he was supposed to say.

"I'm really sorry about-" Blaine pauses to consider how to word the rest.

"Yesterday?" Kurt offers, and Blaine chuckles.

"Yeah. I had no clue that George was your friend, he mentioned a Kurt a couple of times but I never figured you would be him, I mean George doesn't necessarily seem like someone you would consider company and-"

"It's fine Blaine, I'm not mad" Kurt says. "I wish I would have known you went to NYU however, I am a little pissed about that" Kurt admits.

"I figured you knew, between Rachel and everyone, I didn't necessarily keep it a secret".

"I already had a talking to with Rachel, I am pissed she didn't bother to tell me either".

"If this thing with George is weird for you, I mean you were his friend first, and I totally understand if you want me to break things off" Kurt shook his head.

"That isn't necessary Blaine, we are two young adults who haven't spoken in a year, circumstances aren't the best, but I'm happy for the both of you. And maybe this is a good way for us to become friends again, we were friends once" Kurt reminds him, and Blaine laughs, and it's bitter cold and so unlike any Blaine laugh Kurt had ever heard.

"Friends? You are ok with being friends now? I tried Kurt-I-so much I called you so much and you just never answered. You broke up with me and that was it, two years, and you didn't have the decency to call me back, or meet up with me when you were home for break. And now you expect me to be your friend"?

"You stopped calling, so I assumed you moved on" Kurt said in a small voice. "I'm sure you had Sebastian right by your side" Kurt can't help but add, and Blaine slams his hand down on the table, and Kurt is thankful that the place is crowded and loud.

"You're still going on about that? Jesus Kurt nothing happened with Sebastian" Kurt cocked an eyebrow.

"Ok, so something did happen, but not when you thought it did. The truth is what I was telling you all along. Sebastian had a boyfriend at OSU, and he came to me for relationship advice because lets face it, Sebastian isn't a relationship person. And it was nice to talk to someone about how much I missed you, because I was all alone at McKinley, everyone was nice but I didn't feel like I had any friends. Then you dumped me, and Sebastian was there for me when I was miserable, which I was terribly so. Around prom Sebastian was dumped and we decided to go to prom together as friends because I was stuck performing there. And it felt nice, dancing with someone again, feeling like someone wanted me again, and maybe I got a little carried away with Sebastian's flask and the streamers, but when he asked me to go back to his place I said yes, because God Kurt I was so lonely. But you want to know what, we got there, and we were fooling around a little and I stopped him, because it didn't feel right, it wasn't you. It could have been you, if you had just trusted me, and listened to me". Blaine takes a long sip from his coffee in an attempt to cool off. "_It could have been you" _was on repeat in Kurt's head. He notices Blaine watching him, waiting for him to make the next move.

"We can't change the past Blaine" was all Kurt says.

"You sound like a bitter old man Kurt, it was only a year ago" Blaine says.

"You're with George now, no point in crying over spilled milk".

"I don't have to be. He asked me if I wanted to make things more official and I told him that I was fine with the way things were now. Honestly, I said that because I know if you were to give me the word I would be with you in a second".

"This is not the way I imagined our conversation going" Kurt says, he is stunned by Blaine's admission.

"That's all you are going to say?" Blaine asks, his voice sounds hopeful.

Kurt wants to say dump George and be with me. He wants to grab Blaine and drag him back to Blaine's dorm and get reacquainted with every inch of him, but that's never going to happen. George likes Blaine, and George is Kurt's best friend, he has always been there for him, and he can't do that. Plus he doesn't think his heart could take another breakup with Blaine ever again.

"Things happen for a reason Blaine" is all Kurt can respond with, and Blaine looks devastated.

"So that's how it's going to be?" Blaine says.

"George is a good guy Blaine, he'll make you happy. If he wasn't my friend you wouldn't be second guessing yourself". Blaine looks down at his phone and frowns.

"I have class in 15 minutes I should probably go" he says getting up and grabbing his coffee.

"You should call Rachel I think she would really like to see you again", Kurt says not sure his brain could possibly think of anything else.

"I guess I'll see you around" is all Blaine responds with before heading out the door as quickly as possible.

Kurt wants to scream out of frustration, he's kicking himself for not jumping on Blaine's offer, he knows it's what he really wants, but he can't. To make things worse, he's in Starbucks, which is now officially his least favorite place ever.

He has two hours before his class starts, so instead of going home and curling up in front of a Barbara movie, he spends his time at the campus bookstore picking out a new sweatshirt to get Finn for Christmas because he knows he lost his old one. After class instead of going to the nearest store and picking up a pint of ice cream he goes home and makes a four course meal for dinner. And when Rachel gets back instead of making her listen to him complain over a bottle of wine he asks Rachel when Nathan is coming over for dinner. He realizes he has to start getting used to doing things he doesn't want to.


End file.
